Saturday, April 7, 2007

A Most Embarrassing Moment


We all have embarrassing moments in our lives...like the times when you wear a lightweight dress and forget the see-through factor(I always make sure that I wear an extra slip when wearing anything linen, I double check the see-through factor)...or the times when you wear white pants and get a tomato or drop of Diet Coke or red wine on them (of course this happens only at formal affairs when you want to look your best...actually wearing white is good...when I wear white I tend to eat less because I only eat items that are white or light colored...club soda, white wine, Fettucine Alfredo, chicken...no mushroom appetizers - they squirt and drip)...or the time you have to present or have an important luncheon and you are talking to an important person and don't realize that you have a speck of lettuce or spinach from your salad in your front tooth. How embarrassing - right? I always try to alert people (especially my friends)to the situation in an indiscreet way...I try to be the mirror in those circumstances when there are no mirrors.

Well...I didn't have a mirror when it comes to the embarrassing moment I had yesterday....I woke up this morning and was still laughing about it...if I was younger I probably would not be laughing...but at 49 the embarrassing moments get easier. Here's the story...get ready to laugh:

Our exterminator...the bugman...always arrives at my house the first Friday of every month. Yes, Larry the bugman (a nice older man) arrives at 7:30 am the first Friday of each month to ensure that our house stays bug free. Since this Friday was a holiday and I had off from work, I asked Larry to arrive at 11:00 am...both my husband and I almost forgot that Larry was coming.

I woke around 10:00 am, took my shower, went to have breakfast (my Kashi cereal, my orange, my tea, my vitamins). Then it was time to do my business in the bathroom. I took my New York Times Weekend section to read (became engrossed in the story about one of my favorite shows Entourage which is coming back on TV this Sunday - yeah - and another article about a person who has condensed the entire Soprano series into a seven minute video on U-Tube - fascinating, must check it out). I told my husband who was working on the computer that I was in the bathroom. I put the fan on and proceeded to read.

Need I say more...I think you are getting the picture...especially when I tell you that I didn't lock the door (I don't have little kids anymore so why would I lock the door)...in a split second the door opened...Larry yelled "Oh geez, oh geez!"...I yelled "Oh shit, oh shit!"...he slammed the door..."I didn't look," he yelled, "I didn't look...I'm sooooo sorry," he yelled from the other side of the door. I finished my business and stayed in the bathroom. I didn't want to see Larry and I know Larry didn't want to see me.

My husband, sitting in the living room, had not realized what happened, as he had forgotten I was in the bathroom. As Larry ran to the front of the house, my husband asked him "Larry, what's wrong...don't you want your check?" By this time per my husband, Larry's face was as red as a tomato and the bugman, yes the bugman had bug eyes! I don't know who was more embarrassed as he ran out the door. As he exited, Larry yelled to my husband, "I'm so sorry I didn't realize your daughter was home...I didn't realize anyone was in the bathroom." "My daughter is in Italy," my husband said, "That was my wife!"

Should I be embarrassed or flattered that Larry the bugman thought I was 21 not 49...in that split second, yes, in that split second, someone thought I was twenty-something again. Poor Larry, I'm sure he needed a shot of tequila...or likely something stronger...he was all shook up...not his typical monthly exterminator experience.

As for me, I am going to always remember to lock the bathroom door from now on...especially when visitors are expected. Yes, I'm sure this embarrassing episode will go on the top of of the list in my 49th yearbook...another memorable moment!

Judi

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