Inheritance

My sister was visiting over the Thanksgiving week...it was so nice to see her since I don't usually see her during the holiday...we've always been close...not in proximity but in our thoughts...and via the telephone.

While she is older than me...three years older to be exact...I've always been the one that people think is the older one (do you know that when we were at the hospital visiting my husband the other day that a nurse thought my sister was my daughter...okay,okay,okay, I know she looks younger than me...but my daughter...that's it...I'm getting a facelift and having all my front teeth capped!)

I noticed that my sister not only has beautiful teeth...bright white and perfectly straight teeth...but my sister also has beautiful skin...very few wrinkles...I remember how she used to always have acne when she was an adolescent...I didn't inherit the acne...I had very dry skin...like my mom...my sister inherited my dad's oily skin...and while she complained when she was a teenager...now she is smiling...now as she ages she is happy...because oily skin has been good to her face.

As I looked at my sister and me...I realized that we both inherited some of the good and the bad from our parents...my dad gave me his skinny legs and his stomach (any extra pounds go straight to the stomach)...and my dry skin came from my mother's genes...and my sister...my sister got my mom's hips and thighs...and my dad's oily skin...but look how good she looks now at 53.

I thought a lot about all this inheritance...about the sense of style we both got from our mom...and I guess a little from our dad...and the sense of laughter that we both got from our dad...and I guess a little from our mom...and the determination we both got from our mom...and a little from our dad.

And as I thought about what I got from my parents...I wondered now that I'm almost 50...now that my kids are almost grown...I wonder what they will say they inherited from me...I wonder if they will be pleased when they are 50...if they will look back and be happy with the two halves that make them who they are...with a lot of themselves added in there as well...well time will tell...yes...time will tell...

Ooh, I hope they carry on the sense of style that I have tried to instill...and I hope they get the oily skin...so they are wrinkle-free...no ironing needed...but who knows by then...I bet there will be some new miracle cream that takes away all the wrinkles anyway.

Judi

Bringing Out My Beta

I'm such an Alpha...I rise on weekday mornings at 5:30 am and don't leave the house until 7:30 am...sometimes even later...yet my Beta son...my Beta son...he rises at 7:00 am...actually his alarm goes off at 7:00 am and then he takes a shower...grabs a granola bar...and runs out the door...in fact...in fact...sometimes it is 7:20 am and he is still in the shower...just how he does it...I don't know...I just don't know...and I sit and worry every morning that he is not going to make it to school on time...but every morning...every morning...my Beta son seems to make it out the door on time...not a minute early...not a minute late.

I'm an early riser...always have been...and always will be...except maybe on the weekends...I've never been one to sleep until noon...maybe until nine...but not until noon...then half the day is wasted...but my son can sleep late...even on weekday mornings...as for me...I'm an Alpha girl...I try to pack in as much as possible into the few hours I have in the morning - shower, makeup, breakfast, read the newspaper (that is most of the time...when the newspaper man delivers the newspaper before my 6:30 am breakfast right to my walkway...not like yesterday...when it did not arrive...I have such a wonderful newspaper delivery man...he is just so wonderful...but yesterday and today too...I feared for the worst...I feared he had left me...left me in my worried Alpha state...left me...never to be able to read my favorite New York Times at the 6:30 am hour again...but then I saw the paper...down by the puddle of water...where the sprinkler had flooded the edge of my driveway...there sat the newspaper...and that little bit of Beta in me said "okay, it's not on my walkway...but at least I still have my newspaper.")

Yes...I must learn how to be a Beta girl...as I approach 50 I must learn how to bring out the Beta in this Alpha body...be more like my Beta son:

- to throw my clothes around the house or around my room...or let them pile up on the seat of my stationery bicycle instead of putting all my clothes in the hamper...or maybe leave all my clothes in my car after the gym instead of bringing them inside the house...or just throw them on the floor...that's what I'll start to do...just throw my clothes on my bedroom floor;

- speaking of my car, I need to also let my trunk fill up with stuff...lots of stuff that I put in my car...any kind of stuff, but never take the stuff out of my car...and leave old travel mugs with coffee still in them in the cup holder...and wrappers from the food I'm going to start buying at Wawa...that's what a really good Beta guy does...that's what I'm going to do;

- and I think I'll also stop making my bed in the morning...just leave it with an un-made Beta look...with the comforter partially touching the rug and the sheets down around the edge of the bed...and I'll throw a few clothes under the covers...maybe under the bed too;

- and maybe I'll forget to wash my eyeglasses...see how long it will take until I cannot see out of the glass;

- and I'm going to stop paying my bills the moment I get the bill in the mail...I'm going to wait until the last possible day...maybe even make a late payment if necessary...I'm going to see how far I can take it until the Alpha in me starts to shiver...then I'll write that check;

- and I think I'll relax more...not work so hard...watch more television...maybe even watch South Park, Family Guy, and The Simpsons...maybe learn to play video games...like Halo...and play Halo for five hours straight...not take a break;

- and I'm not going to worry when I don't wipe the counter after I cook my dinner...or not wash the dishes after a meal...why wash dishes...I'll just pile them up in the sink...who needs to use a dishwasher...dishwashers were invented to wash dishes...who needs to wash dishes when I can just let dirty ones pile up.

I think I was given a Beta son so I could learn how to value diversity...truly value and celebrate those differences in each individual...I love my son dearly...and I must admit he has made me a better person...a more tolerant and patient person.

I'm still learning every day...yes, I'm a life-long learner...every day I try to worry less...now that I am inching closer to 50...I think I'm going to try to worry even less...to bring out that Beta in me...enjoy life more...that's what Beta guys do...and so should I...I've been an Alpha girl for too long...I'll be 50 in less than four months...it's time to lighten up...and let out my Beta...I know it's hidden somewhere in my Alpha body...it must be a recessive gene...how else would I have given birth to such a beautiful and fabulous Beta boy?

Judi


Guess who else is turning 50 in 2008?: OMG...just read that Madonna is turning 50 next year too...my favorite Madonna...and she is possibly planning a concert to celebrate her birthday...I can't wait...this is definitely going to be on my list of things to do in my 50th year.

A Note to NYC

I thought I would write a note to my hometown of New York City today...I just arrived back after moving my twentysomething daughter into an apartment in NYC where she will be spending the summer...I almost got a little teary-eyed as I left the big city on my trip back through the Holland Tunnel to New Jersey...it brought back such great memories...memories of when I was twentysomething...when my parents moved me into the big city...after I was done with college...off to the big city I went to start my new life...oh, to be twentysomething again...I think my years right after college were some of the best...so here's my notecard to NYC...

Dear NYC,

Please take as good care of my twentysomething daughter as you did of me when I was twentysomething...be kind to her...show her how nice the people can be...(I hope she has a nice roommate like I had...and I hope she has nice neighbors too...my neighbor was Mrs. Moneghan...she was in her 80s, but always looked out for me and made sure I was safe.)

Please show her how to eat great food (I always loved Jackson Hole for burgers, and Z for Greek food, and Ess A Bagel on First Avenue on the east side was one of my favorite weekend breakfast hangouts...simply the best bagels...only I first had to run a few miles before I would let myself purchase one...with lots of cream cheese...forget the lowfat kind...who knew from lowfat cream cheese in the early '80s...those were the full-fat days... and days when I did lots of running...not like now...now it's always lowfat cream cheese for my 49 year old body...and no running only walking).

Please take her under your wing and let her enjoy the little nooks and crannies of this great city...the places I enjoyed...and still enjoy.. like Chinatown and Soho, Tribeca and Greenwich Village...the Upper East Side and the Upper West Side...and Central Park...yes...Central Park (where I...her 49 year old mother...once ran a mini-marathon...did I really run a mini-marathon in my lifetime...unbelievable to think I was once able to do that...maybe when I turn 50 I'll train for another mini- marathon...or maybe I'll walk this time...maybe I'll even do the 3-day walk for Breast Cancer Prevention...I'm going to put that on my list of goals for my 50+ years)...take her to Union Square too where I used to buy such wonderful fruits and vegetables and other delicacies at the Farmers Market each Saturday morning.

Encourage her to watch all the people...those that dress up...and those that dress down...the stylish and the not so stylish...make sure she goes window-shopping to Bloomies and Barneys...along Madison and Saks Fifth...and downtown along Broadway where all the trendy new stores are...she must take in all the new fashion finds (tell her also to stop by and check out the Armani shop and pick out a suit for her mother's 50th birthday...see if they have any special deals for women who are turning 50 who never owned an Armani suit)...

Tell her to enjoy the nightlife...(guess there are no discos around like there were in the '80s...but I'm sure there are new twentysomething hot spots in town)...and make sure she sees a Broadway show...maybe Hairspray (I think Hair was still popular when I lived in NYC...there was no Hairspray...no one used hairspray in Hair...they just let it all hang out in tribute to the age of Aquarius).

So, NYC...NYC...be good to my daughter...like you were to me...and most of all...make sure you tell her to invite me to visit for a weekend...so I can enjoy NYC with her all over again...this time as a 49 year old mom ("hip" and "cool" mom)...I can't wait to go back...my bag is packed...ready to make new memories with my twentysomething daughter.

Judi