Come September

It's September 8th...could not let the 8th pass by without recording something...after all...it is four months and counting from today that I turn 50...where did the other eight months go...how is it the Fall already...I do like the Fall...there are always new beginnings in the Fall...I like new beginnings...even if it is not technically Fall on the calendar for a few more weeks...it is Fall to me...once Labor Day Weekend has passed and the school buses are on the road again...I think about the Fall...

- Not that I am starting any classes...it would be nice to take some classes...I'd like to become a personal coach some day and take classes to learn how to become a coach...I've also always wanted to take a fabric draping class at The Moore College of Art (to learn how to drape fabrics...for the future...when I start sewing again)...maybe next year...although...actually I am starting classes...I'm starting the 12th grade...I do always feel like I experience school with my son...that's because I worry about all the work he has...especially when I read all the class syllabuses the evening of the first day of school...I don't remember ever receiving any class syllabuses when I went to school...things are different now...now they need to stress the kids out starting the first day of school...and stress the parents out as well so we know what we have to look forward to all year long...I can tell I am not going to like 12th grade...just too stressful...however I noticed I will be reading Hamlet and Macbeth...I do like Shakespeare..."To Be Or Not To Be...that is the Question."

I know it isn't truly the Fall yet...it is still Summer for a few more months...but once school is in session I always think Fall...I enjoyed seeing all the kids walking to school the other day...walking with their big back-packs on their backs...step by step...just like I did 40+ years ago...when I walked in my new Buster-Brown Mary Janes to school and back home again...no buses for me...we walked...I loved when my mom took me to buy my new school shoes...I couldn't wait to wear them on the first day.

- Fall fashions are all over the paper and magazines...I did read the 800+ page September issue of Vogue...and the hundreds of pages of the September issue of In Style...and the Fashions of the Times magazine...and the Philadelphia Inquirer special Fall Fashion supplement...just love to keep up with the Fall fashions...not sure what Fall fashions I will be able to wear...those new Fall 2007 Mary Janes are not like the ones I bought in the 1960s...the heels are too high for my 49 year old feet...but it is nice to see that patent leather is in style...just love patent leather shoes!)

- Fall makeup and nail polish - had to buy some of the new Russian shades of OPI nail polish...can't wait to put on my new nail colors for Fall...rich burgundy colors are my favorites...will have to catch up on the popular makeup colors for Fall 2007 too...will my 49 year old face be able to adjust to the new Fall colors...we will see...can I still get away with wearing MAC makeup for my 49th Fall...or should I start to make the switch now to a more mature makeup line like Estee Lauder or Elizabeth Arden...maybe I will just have to fall in step and have a Fall makeover...ooh la la.

- There are more new beginnings in the Fall...all the new Fall televisions shows will be starting soon...the Emmy Awards are in the Fall and the MTV Video Music Awards are in September (love those awards shows...love to watch all the celebrities and see what they are wearing...even after all these years...I'm still a celebrity junkie).

- And my hubby is moving in the Fall...he is moving to his next phase of his rehabilitation.(My Soulmate - June 17)......to a long-term care facility that will help him on his road to recovery...his journey to "get better" so he can give me all the hugs he owes me...hopefully in the Fall...not the Winter...that's too long to wait...I need a hug before my 50th birthday...four months from today...that's the goal post...and I'll be waiting...come September...come November...come December...it's Fall and I'll be waiting.

Judi
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Peri or Provence

Here goes my peri-menopause again...it's acting up...and I don't like it...I was having such severe cramps again today...so much so that I went to the doctor...just to check things out...didn't want to take a chance that I would have those cysts or fibroids again...so I called my doctor.

Doctor C was great..."What are you here for?" he asked me this evening..."I'm having severe cramps," I said..."Oh, are you still having your period?" he said as he looked at my chart...he wasn't my regular gynecologist so he didn't know my history..."No...no...I haven't had my period in over three months...but sometimes I still feel the symptoms...just like today...the bloating...the cramping...the anger," I said.

And as he examined me we started to chat..."What are you doing for your 50th birthday?" he asked me..."Actually, I'm blogging my way to 50," I said..."Blogging...blog...what is that?" he asked..."It's like an on-line diary," I told him. "Oh, that's interesting," he said, "but are are you doing anything fun for your 50th...going anywhere special?"...."Yes, I am," I told him, "but I don't know where I'm going yet...it is definitely going to be somewhere special...really special...absolutely special."

And as he examined me I started to think about my list of special places...the absolutely...positively... wonderful and special places I would like to go for my birthday"...my head was filling with fabulous places...exciting places...new places...I had just read the new Bon Appetit magazine(I always bring a magazine to the doctor's office...when they put me in the room and get me half undressed and make me wait for 30 minutes...even after I've pressed the button to let them know I'm ready...I need something to keep me occupied)... and there was a feature on the foods of Provence...tres bien...tres bien...I started to practice my French again...my French that I haven't studied since high school.

Provence sounds like the perfect place to celebrate my 50th...at least for tonight..it hits all my criteria...good food...good wine...good scenery...haven't been there...right now it is on the top of my list...I am ready to book my ticket...not sure what the weather is like in Provence in January...will have to do some research...luckily I have four more months to plan...and my 50th will last all year...so I can always pick the best month for Provence...no rush...this is supposed to be a relaxing vacation...a special birthday vacation.

And then Dr. C finished examining me...back to reality..."nothing wrong...your ovaries are okay...your uterus too...your just peri-menopausal...it's pretty common...take some ibuprofen," said Dr. C. And as he left the room...before he closed the door...he sighed and added, "Fifty isn't so bad...it's 55 that's the tough one...50 is easy."

Thank you Dr. C.

Judi

Single in September

It's September...Labor Day Weekend...and I'm single in September...my hubby is still in the hospital.(My Soulmate - June 17)...my daughter is back to college...my son is off at the shore...and I'm in single-dom...Ms. Independent...haven't been this way in a long...long...long time...not sure I ever really was Ms. Independent...I've always had my parents...roommates...a husband...or kids around me...all my life.

"Sooooo....sooooo...what should I do now," I said to myself this afternoon. "Should I go shopping?"...I don't really feel like buying fall clothes yet..."Should I go to the gym?"...yep, yep, yep...better get back to building those muscles..."Should I go grocery shopping?"....yep, yep, yep...I went grocery shopping and filled up my shopping cart with so much food...why I don't know...especially since I am in single-dom for the next few days...but I'm not used to living in single-dom...how do singles live...I don't know.

It's lonely in single-dom...and quiet...I didn't like the quiet...so I turned on Vivaldi's The Four Seasons...and since it is September...I played the end of the Summer Concerto and the Autumn Concerto too (it is my favorite but when I am in family-dom no one wants to listen to classical music...so I don't get a chance to play it...I used to listen to Vivaldi all the time in my pre-family-dom days...it started to bring back memories.)

Then I cooked...I actually followed a recipe, which I haven't done in months...maybe even years...I wrote down all the ingredients and I remembered to buy the ingredients at the store too...this was a big...big...big deal...only problem was I cooked for my family...but they weren't there...and I could not eat all four servings of my Dijon Chicken Mushroom Stroganoff...even though it was an old Weight Watchers recipe...and it was calibrated for a lower calorie and lower fat meal...I don't think it was meant for one person to eat all four chicken cutlets and four cups of yolk-free noodles and a half-pound of mushrooms...so I ate two portions (I could not just eat one...I pretended that I was eating for two...so I ate both portions to ensure that I would not go hungry)...and I packed the extra two servings away for another day.

Then I baked...I followed another recipe...this one was easy...it was one of my favorite cakes from The Cake Mix Doctor...I love the Cake Mix Doctor...her cakes are made from a cake mix...but you add so many things to the cake mix that the cake mix cake doesn't taste like a cake made from a cake mix...and the recipes are easy.

I baked a large Banana cake with some of the three pounds of bananas I bought at the discount produce store...not sure what I'm going to do with the rest of the bananas...this cake will last me a long time in single-dom...even in double-dom when my son returns this week...I only ate one slice...was just too full from my double portion of Chicken Mushroom Stroganoff...so I put the rest of the cake away...the whole cake...minus one corner piece...some pieces went in the freezer...and I packed up a basket of pieces for the nurses that are helping my hubby to get better...to get better so I won't be in single-dom come next September.

I ended the day with a glass of wine...my favorite Yellow Tail Pino Grigio...the fruity white wine I like...and I drank two glasses...and I raised a toast to myself...I survived my 49th summer...it was over...never to re-live again...onward and upward...I raised a glass...four months and counting...and I'll be the big 5-0.

Judi

P.S. - If you are ever single in September and have the urge to bake...this banana cake is really good...good for family-dom...or Ms. Independents who like to have a lot of cake around. Thought I would share the recipe adapted from "The Cake Mix Doctor" by Anne Byrn (Workman, 1999). It takes about 1 hour total to prep and bake:

Banana Cake

Solid vegetable shortening
Flour
1 package (18 1/4 ounces) plain yellow cake mix
1/2 cup packed light brown sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
2 ripe bananas, mashed (about 1 cup)
1 cup water
1/2 cup vegetable oil
3 large eggs
2 teaspoons creme de banane liqueur (I never use this ingredient and it still tastes great)

1. Heat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease a 13x9 inch baking pan with shortening, and dust with flour. Shake out excess flour.
2. Place cake mix, brown sugar and cinnamon in a large mixing bowl. Add mashed bananas, 1 cup water, oil, eggs and, if desired liqueur. Blend with an electric mixer on low speed 1 minute. Stop mixer and scrape down side of bowl with rubber spatula. Beat 2 minutes at medium speed until well blended, scraping side again, if needed. Pour into prepared pan, and place on center rack of oven.
3. Bake until top is lightly browned and a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean, about 40 minutes. Remove from oven and cool on a wire rack.

Yield: 16 servings

Banana Cream Cheese Frosting (I don't always make this frosting...but it is very, very good with the cake...I didn't write down the ingredients on my shopping list today...so my 49 year old brain forgot to get the ingredients for the frosting!)

4 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature
4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) butter, at room temperature
1 3/4 cups confectioners sugar
3 to 4 drops LorAnn banana creme flavor or 1/2 teaspoon imitation banana

1. Place cream cheese and butter in a large mixing bowl. Blend with an electric mixer on low speed until combined. Add confectioners sugar a bit at a time, and blend on low speed until well incorporated, 1 minute. Add flavoring, and blend at medium speed until fluffy, 1 minute more.

2. Use at once to frost top of cake.

Yield: 1 1/2 cups

Play Me A Tune

I keep thinking about the words that Gail Blanke, the Career Coach from AOL Body, talked about when I was out in Chicago at the Blogher Conference last month. She had so much good advice to share...memorable advice that I not only wrote down...but advice that I actually remember and think about...her words had such an impact on me...guess that's what a good coach does...she makes you think about your life and your actions.

One of the actions she said to think about was my song...yes...my song. She said that no army goes into battle without a theme song...no winning team goes to play without a theme song to rouse them and get them fired up.

The other day I started writing down songs...started to think about what my theme song should be...my very own theme song that I should sing...as I climb my mountain...as I face adversity...as I charge ahead with my 50+ plans...as I take risks.

Quite a few songs came to mind...songs that have been on my favorites list during the past several years...songs that resonate...that pump me up. Since I'm not a very good singer...once I do pick my theme song...I'm going to have to practice and practice and practice...to learn all the words...because Gail says that when you do pick your theme song you must sing it...and sing it loud.

So what should my song be...now that I'm turning 50 I especially need a theme song...and once I select my theme song I will have to play it and sing it everyday leading up to my big birthday...let's see...what is on my list:

- I Am Woman (it still gets me going whenever I hear this song...where has Helen Reddy gone anyway?)
- Nothing's Going to Stop Me Now (rev up those engines...I'm charging ahead)
- Don't Stop Believing (okay...I got this one from the last episode of the Sopranos...but I just forgot about Journey and since that last episode...that memorable series finale...I cannot get that song out of my head)
- Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow (Fleetwood Mac has so many great songs, but this one has always motivated me to do exactly what the title says..."think about tomorrow")
- I am Changing (This is the song from Dreamgirls...you go girls...you are all star performers...I have this song on my CD and often play it on my way to work)
- The Best (A Tina Turner classic...makes me stand up and shout out the chorus every time I hear it)

There are probably dozens more songs in my repetoire...I just can't remember their titles or who sings them...so I will have to wait until I hear the songs on the radio and go to iTunes...or have my son or daughter go to iTunes...and download the songs onto my iPod...then I'll have to practice the tunes...and see which ones I can sing the best.

Good thing I have several months to go before my 50th birthday...before I have to sing my theme song..."simply the best...better than all the rest...better than anyone...anyone...anyone...anyone...anyone"...uh oh...I forgot the rest...where did my iPod go...oops...it is in the car...no more music for this evening...don't want to sound like a broken record...maybe I should get a karaoke machine for my 50th birthday!

Judi

Climb Every Mountain

Every time I think of mountains, I think about the "Sound of Music" movie...when Maria is up on top of the mountain and the nuns are singing the song to her...the song about climbing every mountain...maybe I'm thinking about mountains because I feel like my husband is getting ready to climb his next mountain...and that means I'm going to climb one too.

My husband actually just reached another milestone on his journey to well-being...little by little my soulmate is getting better .(My Soulmate - June 17)...he left intensive care and moved to the other side of the mountain...to progressive care...it was a scary climb...for him and for me...but he did it...yes...this week he did it...and the change is good.

Gail Blanke, the AOL Body Career Coach, said that when you see a mountain in front of you, "you should stand as if you have already climbed the mountain"...she said that "it is always better to start at the top of the mountain and work backwards"...that's because "when you are standing at the top you can see clearer than at the bottom"...she said to "stand as if you have already climbed the mountain...then start working down one side and then down the other side."

I started to think about the mountain top as if my husband had already climbed it...I thought about what it will look like once he (and I) are on top of that steep mountain...my husband will be stronger on top of the mountain...he will be able to use his hands to eat on top of the mountain...he will be able to sit up on top of the mountain instead of lying down...and he will be able to breathe out of his mouth...there's no tracheotomy on the top of the mountain that we're on...just lots of fresh air ...it's sunny and we will be embracing the panoramic view...with arms outstretched...just like Maria in the opening number of the "Sound of Music"...except we won't be singing like Maria was when she was on top of the mountain...no singing for us...we're not the singing types.

It's all so clear to me as I sit on top of the mountain...now we just have to work backwards and see how long it will take to get there...will it be a week...I don't know...a month...I don't know...longer...I don't know...I don't know...I don't know...will it be before my 50th birthday...yep, yep, yep...that's my goal...to reach the top of the first mountain with my husband by my side on my 50th birthday...and then together we'll tackle the next mountain.

Ready...set...here we go!

Judi