Sunday, January 14, 2007

The Count is On

The count is's my first week...only 51 more to go!!

January 8, 2007

Today I turned 49. So I’m officially a year away from the big five-O. Or is it that I’m really 29 since in today’s standards, 50 is the new 30. Right? So, I’m committing today to capture my feelings, my fears, my excitement, my progress, my ups and downs, as I go through this year.

My friend Ronni says I don’t look 49, although I do see more lines creeping up on my face every day. And I am in that pre-menopausal state where I seem to ovulate every few weeks. My doctor says that’s what happens at this age…first you skip your period for months and then you get it sometimes twice a month. Once you’ve missed it for a year, you know you’ve officially gone through menopause. See what I have to look forward to.

I also have a year to plan what I want to do for my fiftieth birthday. Originally I had wanted to spend my fiftieth birthday in Paris, but a few years ago I went to Paris, so that one is out. Then I was going to go to Italy, but since my daughter is spending a semester abroad in Rome this spring, I’ll be visiting Italy in 2007. So what should I do? I could go back to Paris, I could go white water rafting down the Colorado River…just read about a women’s hiking and camping trip expedition that sounds pretty adventurous…maybe I’ll get my friends to join me who are also turning 50…or maybe I should go on a spa vacation, always wanted to visit Canyon Ranch in Tucson.

Another thought was to skip the adventure and maybe make myself over…like whitening my teeth and replacing my front tooth which has an old cap on it that is discoloring…or maybe capping all my teeth so they look even better. Or, maybe I should botox my wrinkles away. Maybe have the nose job I’ve always wanted to have. Maybe have the laser surgery on my eyes, so I will no longer have to wear glasses. Or get a personal trainer and finally exercise away that tummy and hips that have expanded after having two kids.

Not sure what I’ll do yet, but I have a year to plan and change my mind again and again.

My commitment is to write in this blog every day, or almost every day, and keep track of things this year. We’ll see how I do. I did commit six months ago to try a new Estee Lauder wrinkle cream and I have to say, I’ve kept it up. Every night, no matter where I am, home or traveling, I have my jar of wrinkle cream…as the jar says, you must use this religiously to get results. My ritual is to wash my face and then put the cream on afterwards. Has it changed my wrinkles…hard to tell. Once the jar is empty, I’ll move on to the next cream on my list.

Have to go now and wash my face – apply my Estee Lauder cream – and try to get some sleep. Yes, there is the lack of sleep too at this age. I say TRY to get some sleep…these days I don’t know if I actually will be getting any sleep. That’s another sign of pre-menopause.

Talk to you tomorrow. Promise.


January 9, 2007

Hello again. I’m back. Guess that means I am committed. But, since I do travel and do not always have internet access, there may be some misses. I did say I would try to write every day, so I am going to keep track on my computer and make up for any days I am not on line.

Today I ate an entire Panini sandwich from Panera Bread. It was so good, but I did feel guilty afterwards. This is a really bad time of year for me…just recouping from the December holidays and all the holiday parties…my birthday that requires me to eat a chocolate cake…nothing like the ultimate chocolate cake from Wegmans, it is simply the best. Then the end of the month is my anniversary, so we go out to dinner. And in between I have a family wedding to go to.

The last time I went to a family affair I had my hair dyed and highlighted the day before and it turned into zebra stripes. My husband said they were so bright he could not look at me when we were driving to the event. Even my 85 year old aunt asked what I did to my hair. It was a sad day. I’ll never do that again. That’s why when I thought of getting a spray tan for this weekend’s event, I was very nervous. I kept thinking about the Friends’ episode when Ross goes to a tanning salon and it sprays him so many times. I bet that would happen to me.

I’m just not a risk taker, even after all these years. I think some of it has to do with the way I was brought up. My family lived in the same apartment in the Bronx until I went off to college. And my mom and dad were not risk takers, they never bought a house on Long Island and moved to the burbs like all my friends’ families did. The biggest risk I took was going away to college and then leaving my home in New York City for New Jersey (well at least I went over the Washngton bridge). Both my husband and my boss are not risk takers either, so I don’t have any support for future years unless I force myself at 50+ to start acting differently. Age does sometimes allow us to be more of a risk taker since you eventually learn that there is oftentimes nothing to lose, but more times so much to gain. In fact, this blog was a big risk for me. It took me days before I could push the button to sign the agreement to post my diary.

That’s enough for today. Again, time to get some rest, as you can see I post these during the evening because I work all day (and late into the night sometimes). My ritual face wash and Estee Lauder treatment are waiting…and my cholesterol medication and Colace…another sign of aging.

Good night…sleep tight…talk to you tomorrow…or the next day.


January 10, 2007

I’m traveling again today.

Whenever I am traveling, I use the opportunity to take a bath. It is a true luxury, and one that I don’t often get a chance to do when I am at home. At home, I’d have to first clean the kids’ bathtub in order to use it, since my master bath only has a shower, and that takes time. Plus, when I’m home I never seem to take the time to relax in a bath. There is always some other chore that pulls me away. Maybe if I want to try to relax more, I should commit to taking more baths. Maybe if I tried once a week, I’d be more likely to do it. I remember when I once used the Lavender bath foam from Bath & Bodyworks…it smells so good and really does relax you.

There is something special about being away and having your own bathroom, with no one to disturb you. Taking a bath in a hotel is a ritual I started when my kids were young and I had to travel for business. What a treat it was to have a relaxing bath knowing no one would knock on the door or call for “mommy.”

Only issue this week, was when I went to run the bath at the conference center where I was staying, the stopper would not work. I pushed it several times, juggled the latch up and down, ran the water several times in the hope that it would magically stay and the water would build up. But, like Alice through the looking glass, the water shot right back through the hole. I was too lazy to call the maintenance department as it was quite late in the evening. It was a huge disappointment.

While I did not get a chance to use the bathtub, I did use the fitness center at this conference center. I am very proud of myself. I don’t know about you, but I often pack my sneakers and gym outfit and nine times out of 10 I think up some excuse why I do not have time to exercise. I should just resign myself to the fact that I am not a morning exerciser, even though I am a morning person. This time, I actually went after dinner. I think it was some of my female colleagues who inspired me.

Now I am exhausted. Time to wash my face…you know the routine…put my Estee Lauder cream on my face…and go to bed.


Other subjects that have sparked my interest today that I plan to explore more on a future date:
… after talking with an acquaintance that just got back from a four months in Florence, she made me question the fact that more Europeans work to live and Americans live to work. For someone approaching 50, maybe I should move to Europe after I turn 5-0. I think as we get older we should live to work more rather than work to live. Will have to look into this further in the coming year!

…type A personalities…how do you change your personality? I think I was like this from an early age…not sure this one can be changed even at 50.

January 11, 2007

It is so late…and I really should be in bed…or at least trying to get some shut eye.

It’s less than a week since I made my commitment, but I’m keeping it up.

I had my wonderful manicure and express pedicure this evening….what a treat. It is so relaxing. I love going to the salon for some pampering. Although, I think I treat myself to this pampering about once every six months. Every time I say I am going to treat myself more often, I never follow through. Now that I am on the road to 50, I should treat myself, yes, truly treat myself, to this pampering at least once a month.

I know so many friends who have a weekly or bi-weekly ritual of getting their nails done at the salon and they get pedicures religiously during the warm weather months as well. Why is it I am always too busy? The salon even stays open until midnight…probably for women like me who cannot find the time during regular daylight or evening hours.

I also love hearing all the conversations at the salon. It so enjoyable to hear all the chatter and a great escape from reality or the stress of the day. Here is a person or people that you don’t even know and you talk about everything. This evening we were talking about relationships, about marriage, about family, etc. Although, I don’t even intimately know these people, it was fun. You really get to let your hair down (literally), guess that is why it is a salon. Reminds me of the movie Shampoo, remember the one with Warren Beatty, aren’t all the clients in love with him?

So, now my nails are dry…my computer is running out of power and will soon shutdown. I’ve really enjoyed myself tonight…The Office (such a funny show)…new episode of Grey’s Anatomy (love that show)…a manicure…an express pedicure…life is good on the road to 50.

Talk to you tomorrow.


January 12, 2008

Friday night is Lunesta night. Time to catch up on my sleep that I missed the entire week. Fridays are routine for talking on the phone to my best friend and then getting a good night’s sleep. I do remember when Friday night used to mean getting home, getting changed, going out on the town. Now, I look forward to Friday in a different way…getting home, getting in my sweatpants and sweatshirt, watching television or a rented movie… if I can keep my eyes open past 10:00 pm.

So as much as I want to chat…I am going to cut short my blogging for now…time for some shut eye.


January 13, 2007

This evening, I went to my cousin’s daughter’s wedding. What a strange feeling to see all my cousins who have aged. We’re now all in our 50’s and possibly 60’s, except for me…I’m the baby in the family. I remember when we were teenagers and in our early 20’s, our parents were the ages we are now. Most of our parent’s generation is gone, except for one aunt.

I don’t know about you, but when I am around relatives at this time in my life, I always start to reminisce. I think about the 60’s and 70’s when Sunday meant a visit to my grandmother’s apartment. How the uncles would sit and play cards and the aunts and children would sit in the living room and talk (sometimes yell) at each other.

It’s strange to think that so much time has gone by so fast.

I was one of only a few women who were not wearing a black outfit. Is that what it means when they say “black tie affair?” I thought men were supposed to wear black tie, not female guests. Why is black always the color of choice for formal affairs? I’m an Autumn and always have been according to Color Me Beautiful, and black is not one of my flattering colors. So, I wore a Cream sleeveless top with beading around the neckline, beige brocade pants and sexy sandals, with my perfectly painted pedicure. Ann Taylor came to the rescue as she always does for special occasions.

We stayed overnight at the Marriott Times Square. Nice service and puffy beds….and you now know what I like to do when I visit hotels…take a bath. I’m pleased to say that Sunday morning when I woke up I hit a homerun with the bathtub.

Tomorrow I’m taking a vacation from blogging. I’ll be back on Monday.


1 comment:

samantha said...

I can so relate as you try to figure out how to spend this pre--50 year. Isn't it amazing how even in our 40s we all still struggle with the choice between wanting to pamper ourselves because we "deserve it" and/or wanting to fix all the "flaws" that we still see (that probably date back to junior high!). Looking forward to sharing your year -- but go easy on yourself... using Estee and blogging every day is quite an ambitious goal!