Looking Back on My Life - Part II

So I had planned to be back in a day to finish up looking back on my life...but I got hit in the head...yes...I cannot believe my luck...and I thought my life was going to be boring as I headed to my big 50th year...now I'm just hoping I get there in one piece...that's because on Thursday, July 19th, the hood of my car hit my head when I was putting my briefcase in the car...and I had to get staples in my head...at least a cute doctor stapled my head together...


So, now that my head is all stapled up...and the pain from the tetanus shot has subsided...I'm ready to write again...and I'm ready to look back on my life and read more...yes...I want to look back...rather than forward...

My Conversation (continued)

In fourth grade my teach was Mrs. Small and she was very tall. She always used to call me by my sister's name because four years before she had her as a student. Don't tell anybody, but I always thought Mrs. Small was a little weird. She never taught a thing. Her husband came in once a week to teach the class the flute. That year I used to drive my mother out of the house by my wonderful flute piece of "Mary Had A Little Lamb." (Well, well, well...so it's Mrs. Small's fault that I never became a talented musician...I can blame her and her husband for my lack of musical talent...I do remember trying to play guitar too when I was younger...for a few months I was going to be a guitar player...but that didn't last too long either...no musical talent with instruments or vocal.)

I always got involved in schoool affairs and when I wasn't picked for a certain thing I got very disappointed. So, don't you think in fourth grade we put on "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs," and I wasn't picked for a part. I had always considered myself to be a fantastic actress and when I didn't get a part in the play it was a big let down in my life. I had great ambitions to become an actress on Broadway. How could a person become a great star if she couldn't even get a part in a little fourth grade play? As it turned out when the play was finally ready to be put on one of the dwarfs got the chicken pox and I took over. After all, you can't put on "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" with six dwarfs. (Glad that was more than 30 years ago and that there was no chicken pox vaccine then...or I might have totally lost my chance at fame...at least I was a dwarf...I didn't remember that I wanted to be a famous actress...but I couldn't sing...and I couldn't dance...what was I thinking when I was in the fourth grade...why didn't anybody tell me...maybe it is a good thing that no one told me...no wonder I really enjoyed the Broadway play I saw with my daughter this weekend in NYC...we saw Hairspray...and I loved the singing and the dancing...maybe it reminded me of my fourth grade dreams.)

Time passed on and summer came along. How I loved summer. So much free time. When summer rolled around I went to Long Beach. We rented the same house every year. An old man, friend of the family, owned it. He always walked around in baggy shorts that looked like old underwear. It was such a nice house with two antique elephants on the posts in the front. What a shame it was when I found out this would be our last year at the beach. Times were changing, people were changing, and I guess I was changing too. (This brings back such memories...I did love the beach each summer...and I do remember those elephants...vaguely remember them...I don't get to the beach much now...I enjoy the pool more...not a fan of the sand...unless I'm at a resort where they take care of everything...including the towels and the beach chairs...but at 49 I can't sit in the sun too long...no more tanning for me...unless it is in the spray tan salon...which I must do one of these days...I do so want to see what it would be like to have a tan again...like I did back when I didn't have to worry about tanning...who even knew about SPF in the 60s...and I didn't think about the wrinkles either.)

When I was 12 I graduated from elementary school. We had a big graduation. I went to every store on Fordham Road just to get a dress, after all, how could two people have the same dress? It was really a nice ceremony. Our principal spoke and the valedictorian was a girl from my class. I was sad after my 6th grade graduation. I guess it was that I was scared of the big change that was going to take place in the next year. I was promoted to a two year program and would skip 8th grade. Everyone in my class was going to different schools. (Sounds like I was interested in making a fashion statement at a young age...think this is when I likely started my shopaholic lifestyle...glad I had an appropriate dress for my graduation from elementary school...and it sounds like I was having issues with change back then too...but I did always seem to make the change...and even after all these years...change is not easy.)

There was a big adjustment I had to make in 7th grade. I really had to work hard to earn my grades. No more baby stuff. Report cards were marked with numbers not checks. I began to like it though, the competition was good. (So that is when I became so competitive...wish the numbers weren't so important...why did the school system have to go change those checks to numbers...maybe if they had left the checks alone throughout my junior and senior high school days I would not be such a workaholic today...I bet all those kids I see in high school today would also not be so competitive either...I vote for the checks...why do we need numbers anyway?)

The people I met in this new school helped me to adjust also. They were very nice. I really liked 7th grade and at the end of the year I had no worries about 9th grade because I would be with the same people. But, when I came back after the summer I was proven to be wrong. Weeks passed by and the class drifted apart. The people I really liked the year before had changed. I felt left out. I tried to change myself to fit the other people. If it wasn't for one person in the class I don't know what I would have done. Kathy pulled me through. She became my best friend. (So glad Kathy was around...if she ever reads this blog...I want to say "thank you" to Kathy...wherever you are...I'm also glad I never changed myself to fit in...or I might have become a very different person than I am today.)

With 9th grade coming to a close I look ahead to the next years. I have great ambitions for myself. I would like to become a lawyer. I think I would be a good lawyer because I am a very fair person. (I wanted to be a lawyer???...I don't remember ever wanting to be a lawyer...well...that dream didn't come true either...but I am happy with my career in communications...and I don't think I will pursue a legal career in my 50+ years either...nope...that 14 year old dream is not going to come true in my lifetime...however, I still continue to be a fair person.)

As this conversation of my life draws to a close, I must say one thing. This story is by no means the end of my life but only just the beginning. As a famous poet - Joni Mitchell - once said - "Though dreams have lost some grandeur coming true, there'll be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty, before the last revolving year is through." (Good old Joni Mitchell...so that is when I first started listening to her music...and to think...35 years later...Joni Mitchell is still ringing in my ears...play it again, Joni...play it again, Joni...only this time put the iPod on...or put the CD in the CD player...can't play that record anymore.)

Judi