Play Me A Tune

I keep thinking about the words that Gail Blanke, the Career Coach from AOL Body, talked about when I was out in Chicago at the Blogher Conference last month. She had so much good advice to share...memorable advice that I not only wrote down...but advice that I actually remember and think about...her words had such an impact on me...guess that's what a good coach does...she makes you think about your life and your actions.

One of the actions she said to think about was my song...yes...my song. She said that no army goes into battle without a theme song...no winning team goes to play without a theme song to rouse them and get them fired up.

The other day I started writing down songs...started to think about what my theme song should be...my very own theme song that I should sing...as I climb my mountain...as I face adversity...as I charge ahead with my 50+ plans...as I take risks.

Quite a few songs came to mind...songs that have been on my favorites list during the past several years...songs that resonate...that pump me up. Since I'm not a very good singer...once I do pick my theme song...I'm going to have to practice and practice and practice...to learn all the words...because Gail says that when you do pick your theme song you must sing it...and sing it loud.

So what should my song be...now that I'm turning 50 I especially need a theme song...and once I select my theme song I will have to play it and sing it everyday leading up to my big birthday...let's see...what is on my list:

- I Am Woman (it still gets me going whenever I hear this song...where has Helen Reddy gone anyway?)
- Nothing's Going to Stop Me Now (rev up those engines...I'm charging ahead)
- Don't Stop Believing (okay...I got this one from the last episode of the Sopranos...but I just forgot about Journey and since that last episode...that memorable series finale...I cannot get that song out of my head)
- Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow (Fleetwood Mac has so many great songs, but this one has always motivated me to do exactly what the title says..."think about tomorrow")
- I am Changing (This is the song from Dreamgirls...you go girls...you are all star performers...I have this song on my CD and often play it on my way to work)
- The Best (A Tina Turner classic...makes me stand up and shout out the chorus every time I hear it)

There are probably dozens more songs in my repetoire...I just can't remember their titles or who sings them...so I will have to wait until I hear the songs on the radio and go to iTunes...or have my son or daughter go to iTunes...and download the songs onto my iPod...then I'll have to practice the tunes...and see which ones I can sing the best.

Good thing I have several months to go before my 50th birthday...before I have to sing my theme song..."simply the best...better than all the rest...better than anyone...anyone...anyone...anyone...anyone"...uh oh...I forgot the rest...where did my iPod go...oops...it is in the car...no more music for this evening...don't want to sound like a broken record...maybe I should get a karaoke machine for my 50th birthday!

Judi

Climb Every Mountain

Every time I think of mountains, I think about the "Sound of Music" movie...when Maria is up on top of the mountain and the nuns are singing the song to her...the song about climbing every mountain...maybe I'm thinking about mountains because I feel like my husband is getting ready to climb his next mountain...and that means I'm going to climb one too.

My husband actually just reached another milestone on his journey to well-being...little by little my soulmate is getting better .(My Soulmate - June 17)...he left intensive care and moved to the other side of the mountain...to progressive care...it was a scary climb...for him and for me...but he did it...yes...this week he did it...and the change is good.

Gail Blanke, the AOL Body Career Coach, said that when you see a mountain in front of you, "you should stand as if you have already climbed the mountain"...she said that "it is always better to start at the top of the mountain and work backwards"...that's because "when you are standing at the top you can see clearer than at the bottom"...she said to "stand as if you have already climbed the mountain...then start working down one side and then down the other side."

I started to think about the mountain top as if my husband had already climbed it...I thought about what it will look like once he (and I) are on top of that steep mountain...my husband will be stronger on top of the mountain...he will be able to use his hands to eat on top of the mountain...he will be able to sit up on top of the mountain instead of lying down...and he will be able to breathe out of his mouth...there's no tracheotomy on the top of the mountain that we're on...just lots of fresh air ...it's sunny and we will be embracing the panoramic view...with arms outstretched...just like Maria in the opening number of the "Sound of Music"...except we won't be singing like Maria was when she was on top of the mountain...no singing for us...we're not the singing types.

It's all so clear to me as I sit on top of the mountain...now we just have to work backwards and see how long it will take to get there...will it be a week...I don't know...a month...I don't know...longer...I don't know...I don't know...I don't know...will it be before my 50th birthday...yep, yep, yep...that's my goal...to reach the top of the first mountain with my husband by my side on my 50th birthday...and then together we'll tackle the next mountain.

Ready...set...here we go!

Judi

Conceal Me

I'm so tired...so tired...so tired. But my eyes look wide awake...that's because I went to the makeup store and told the makeup lady that I needed to freshen up all the dark circles under my eyes...the ones that seem to be getting darker by the minute...no wonder when I stay up like last night until 2:00 am in the morning (who do I think I am...trying to pull an all-nighter...like when I was in college...I wonder if the visit to University of Central Florida this past week is wearing off on me).

So I told the makeup lady, "Please give me your best cover up..anything that will cover up the darkness around my eyes." "I like Fresh Absolute Concealer," she said, "It goes on smooth and covers up those dark lines very nicely." "How much is it?" I asked. "Just $25," she responded. "Okay," I thought, "If this is what it costs to brighten up my eyes and get rid of my raccoon-looking face I'll buy the Fresh stuff...and for good measure I told the makeup lady to also throw in the concealer brush too...for another $25." Cie la vie.

Little did I know that when the makeup lady said be very gentle with the Fresh squirt bottle..that she meant a dab would do the trick...since the entire container is only .17 fl oz...yes...that entire container contains only .17 fl oz and it costs $25...I started to think about how many containers of Fresh Absolute Concealer it would take to fill up an 8 oz. cup and didn't have enough time to count...but the makeup lady warned me...she said you only need a dab...a spec of Fresh to accomplish the cure...the only issue was when I tried to get the dab...the spec...the tiny little spec out of the bottle (like she did in the store with the sample bottle) almost the entire .17 fl oz came flowing out...and I could not reverse it...no matter how much I tried to push the blob of concealer back into the pinhole of the container...it just would not budge...instead of a dab I had a blob...a big fat blob of concealer...and when I tried to use the concealer brush...I almost ended up looking like a 49 year old owl...my face was bright all right...it looked like it was lit up...almost florescent.

According to Bobbi Brown, the makeup maestro, some of the factors that cause under-eye circles are beyond our control - namely the aging process - with aging, "the skin around the eye area becomes thinner, so superficial blood vessels show through even more. (Thank you Bobbi for enlightening me on this subject...I don't like things that are out of my control...that's why I have to go purchase $50 for concealer and a concealer brush so I can put myself back in control...and then the darn container with its sensitive pressure point puts me out of control again.)

But wait, Bobbi also added an important point in her new book Bobbi Brown Living Beauty...she said that "it is worth it to have an arsenal of concealer colors - it'll do more for you than an extra lipstick. Spend wisely."

That's my Bobbi, she substantiated my spend...and my owl eyes...and I bought the lipstick color I liked too...why not by an extra lipstick...it's not that hard to operate a lipstick container...and the color does look nice with my owl eyes.

Judi

Rock Chic in my DKNY Jeans

I'm taking a little vacation...not a spa vacation...not a European trip...just a little break from the real world...off with my kids to visit a surreal world...to see a university in Florida with my son and daughter...one of the universities my son will be applying to this fall...and then I'm going to go see my mom...I need to see my mom...I need a big "mom hug!"...even at 49 going on 50...there is nothing like a big "mom hug" to make me feel better.

Sooooooooo, I'm suited up for my trip...I'm wearing my new jeans...my form-fitted jeans...just like my form-fitted skirt that I bought back in the spring...and now that I've lost a few pounds my form-fitted jeans fit me quite snuggly...they are actually old jeans...I found them in a consignment shop a few weeks ago...I don't usually shop for jeans because since I've been in my late 40s I haven't really ever found a pair of jeans that fit me properly...but these jeans stood out on the consignment rack...they had J-U-D-I written all over them (they really had D-K-N-Y written on the inside but if I had my own fashion line these are the exact type of jeans I would design for the mature woman)...there they sat...just my size...without a thick waistband or belt loops...just the style I like...they had just a little stretch...just a little flare as my daughter would say (I would have said they were bell-bottoms but that would give away my age.)

"I'll take them," I said to the saleswoman..."They are on sale," she said, "Everything in the store is half price"..."Then I'll definitely take them," I said as I gave her the $10 she asked for...yes...10 bucks...10 bucks...the best $10 investment I've spent in a long time that made me feel like a million bucks...quite a bargain.

And now I'm all set to leave on the jet plane...and I'm sure to fit in at the university for tomorrow's tour...at least my lower half will fit in...and according to the August issue of InStyle I might just fit in in Hollywood too...(will have to add Hollywood on my list of places to go next year with my form-fitted flared jeans at 50).

According to the InStyle "J is for Jeans" feature "jeans have the ability to evoke so many moods"..."rock chic...downtown cool...and picture of polish." I never knew there were so many jean moods or styles from:

- "butt boosters" (I could use a pair of "butt boosters"...will put them on my 50th birthday list) to...

- "diverse weaves" with pinstripes and herringbone jean fabrics (maybe I should get a pair of these diverse weave jeans for our jeans day at work...now that we have jeans day on Fridays...as long as I'm a "picture of polish" at work I guess it is okay to wear jeans to the office)...

- and there's "eco-friendly" jeans too...for green girls who desire pesticide-free 100 percent organically grown cotton, bamboo and recycled buttons (wonder if I could sell some of the bamboo that is infiltrating my backyard to a jeans company...will have to check this out...I could supply hundreds of thousands of bamboo buttons with all the bamboo in my backyard...and if the jean company would come and cut it down I'd give it to them for free)...
- and there are vintage jeans too (I have several pairs of vintage jeans in my closet...remember Wranglers...oh, yes...and Lee jeans...and Jordache jeans...I think I have quite a few pairs of vintage jeans somewhere buried in my closet...unless they were some of the 50 things I threw out the other day).

For now...I'm all set for college...I can walk in these DKNY jeans...I can sit in these DKNY jeans...and I feel "rock chic" in these DKNY jeans...let me board that jet plane baby...let me board that jet plane...I'm ready for take-off.

Judi

"Letting Go"

Today I started "letting go"...just like Gail Blanke, the AOL Body personal coach told me to do at the Blogher Conference luncheon...I'm "letting go" of the stuff that is holding me back.

I'm letting go of the bad stuff...(I'm only going to think about the good stuff...like the fact that my husband is able to start eating again...yes that's the good stuff...after two months he took his first swallow of real food yesterday...and I brought him good stuff to eat...banana ices that are his favorite...he cannot eat too much...but that's okay...in time he'll be able to have more good stuff...more good food...I may have to learn how to cook the good food again...not that I really cook anymore...but I will try...maybe I'll try to make a low-fat, low-sugar banana cream pie for him to enjoy...that's good stuff.)

I'm letting go of the anger...(Who is angry...not me...I'm turning 50...I have wrinkles...I'm having a hot flash right now...but I'm not angry...I can't sleep...I have no time to read anymore...I'm so busy...but I'm not angry...nope...I'm letting go...nothing is going to make me angry anymore...life is too short to be angry.)

I'm letting go of the fear of failing...(I'm going to try new things when I'm 50...if I fail...so I fail...did I just say that...can Judi with an "i" fail...can I let myself fail...yes...I'm going to try new things just to try them...I'm going to try some of those things that I've always wanted to try and maybe I'll make mistakes...no more A plus, pluses for me...I'm ready for those C grades.

I'm letting go of the beliefs about myself that may not be true...(I'm going to be positive about my strengths...I am woman hear me roar...I think I'm going to permanently change the spelling of my name when I turn 50...Judi with an "i"...with new beliefs about myself...according to a recent article in the New York Times.the lowercase "i" is very trendy..taking after the "iPod" and the "iPhone" ...I need an "i" in my name when I turn 50...I like the way Judi looks on the page (okay my real name is Judy with a "y"...I've just been using Judi with an "i" as my pen name...but it has changed my life...and I like it.)

Gail told each of us to go home and start "letting go" by throwing out 50 things...any 50 things...so now that I'm turning 50...throwing out 50 things should be easy...I likely have 100 things I could throw out...but I'll start with 50...yes...I'll start with the two junk drawers in my kitchen that are cluttered with so much junk...I bet I have 50 things in each drawer I could throw out...then I'll head to the basement and throw out another 50 things...and then I'll go up in the attic and throw out 50 things...and finally in my bedroom closet...I don't have 50 pairs of shoes I could throw out...but I bet I have quite a few that I don't wear anymore...they might come back in style...but I'm going to throw them out anyway.

I'm excited about "letting go"...feels liberating...can't wait until the garbage men get to my house this week...they better have strong arms...those garbage cans are going to filled to the brim!

Judi

A Vision with A View

I was thinking today about the coaching session I attended at the Blogher conference. It was hosted by AOL Body...not sure about this site...but may have to check it out sometime...anyway...I attended a luncheon hosted by Gail Blanke, a business and career coach...she was so inspiring...I wish she was my personal coach...maybe I should think about getting a personal coach...maybe before I turn 50...then my personal coach can help guide me to make the right choices in my 50+ years and maybe become more of a risk-taker.

Her coaching session was really, really good...inspiring...very inspiring...made me think about my life...and about my daily actions. As Gail spoke...I was able to put myself into the different situations she spoke about...it felt good...hard...but good...

- Gail talked about having confidence...about walking into a room and introducing yourself with a starter phrase such as..."I'm the one who..." I've been thinking about that one little sentence for a few days now...I keep asking myself to answer that question...or finish the sentence...only every time I start to fill in the end of the sentence...I can't decide..."I'm the one who is going through some bad times, but trying to be strong"....yep, nope..."I'm the one who is a pretty good writer who hopes to turn her blog into a book"...yep, nope..."I'm the one who is creative, can multi-task, and juggle, walk the tightrope...yep, yep..."Oh, yes...and I'm the one who is turning 50 in a few months...yep, yep, yep. (feels weird saying only a few months...now that it is August I am officially closer to 50 than I am to 49).

- Gail talked about creating a vision of how good it could be..."how good can you make it," she challenged us...she said her vision is running on the beach, laughing, feeling good with her grandchildren.

What's your vision?" she asked us. Let's see...I'm thinking...I'm thinking...um...ummmm, ummmmm, okay...my vision is divided...I see myself on a beach in California relaxing on a sunny porch at my summer home in Laguana overlooking the ocean enjoying a glass of Pinot Grigio...my feet are elevated...the air is clear...and I'm reading an absolutely fabulous piece of chick lit that I cannot put down...my husband is cooking one of his fantastic salmon entrees with risotto and my kids stop by to enjoy the view...(I could go on and on "how good can you make it," Gail said...this sounds pretty darn good to me..and that is just my summer vision.)

Let's see about my fall vision...my fall/winter vision includes a studio...or a one bedroom apartment in NYC...with a view of Central Park...maybe running in Central Park on a crisp fall day (running in my favorite outfit that I bought at the Lucy store...just love that name...and love the store too...even if I don't have time to exercise anymore...I still love my Lucy exercise clothes...and my vision includes exercising so I know I will eventually wear my Lucy exercise clothes sometime in the future)...going to a Metropolitan Museum Costume exhibit...or maybe the gala opening event with Anna Wintour...wearing a long gown...a long Armani gown(always wanted to go someplace formal like in the society pages of the New York Times or at the Golden Globes or Oscars.)

This vision exercise is quite exciting...I like this...I like this...who cares if it doesn't come true...it's as good as it gets...Gail said we should build our castle and not hold back...I'm not holding back...it's fun creating a vision with a view.

As for this evening...my short-term vision is to put on my pjs, brush my teeth and wash my face...put on my Estee Lauder Future Perfect cream (maybe I don't need this cream...as my vision for the future does not include any wrinkles)...take a Lunesta...and have a wonderful, relaxing, restful sleep...and tomorrow...tomorrow I'll think about the other exercises Gail talked about...she had some other exercises for me...can't do them all at once...tomorrow I might just try the one about "letting go"...yes...tomorrow or the next day or the day after that I'll start the exercise on "letting go"...it might be a little tough for me...but I'm up to the challenge.

Judi

Sky-diving and Bungee Jumping

Lately my life feels like it is in a free fall...no more roller coasters...I'm so over roller coasters...and to think I used to be afraid of roller coasters...with the crises that I've been through in my 49th year...I can take on roller coasters...yes...give me the "Batman" ride at Great Adventure...I might just have to take a ride on that ride of all rides.

This week there were so many ups and downs and downs and ups with my husband's illness that I thought I was sky-diving...or bungee jumping.(My Soulmate - June 17) One day he had 103 or 104 temperature and his lung infection was raging in his body and the next day when the doctors found the source of the infection and fixed him all up...he was back flying high in the sky...no temperature...talking through his tracheotomy...and resting comfortably...and so was I.

I am actually used to my new routine now...not that I like this routine...I wish someone would invent a "hug" machine...a portable "hug" machine would be good...one that I could take out of the closet when I arrive home each day...after I'm done with my sky-diving and bungee jumping routine...I would like a machine that would hug me tight...and tell me everything is going to be okay...such a shame that this invention does not exist...I bet there would be a good market for such a machine...I can even picture the advertisements...maybe I will have to work on this invention when I turn 50.

I would also like an invention that would eliminate all the weeds that are growing between the cracks in the stone walkway in the front of my house...I hate those ugly weeds...each day I go out to get my newspaper I pull up a few weeds...and they just grow back...the roots of the weeds are too deep...and like life's ups and downs...those weeds just seem to pop up everywhere...they leave no stone unturned...they just have to crowd in the crevices and upset me...but they don't get me down for too long...one day I'm going to re-cement the walkway and then all the weeds will be gone...I'll show those weeds that I am stronger than them...I'm a skydiver...I'm a bungee jumper.

Now that I'm down on the ground again...I think I'll just go get myself a piece of that peach berry pie I bought from the farmer's market today...it is my favorite...next to strawberry rhubarb which is really my absolute favorite...yes...I deserve a treat...sky diving and bungee jumping and weed wacking are hard work...I might just have two pieces of pie tonight.

Judi