Free To Be Me

Who would have thought that at 49 years old I would be meeting so many new friends in a virtual community I created...and who would have thought that I would have the opportunity to meet hundreds of "blogging sisters" and form a bond with so many fellow female bloggers during an exhilarating Blogher conference.

Yes...for two glorious days in Chicago...two fabulous days in Chicago...I was free to be me...just Judi with an "i"...or should I say JudI with a capital "I"...I was strong, I was authentic, I was a blogger, I was 49 approaching 50, and I was free...not a wife who has a sick husband...not a mother who is trying to be strong for her kids...not a corporate executive who is a worker-bee...I was free...no housework...no homework...no shopping...no cooking...I was free to be whoever I wanted to be...and free to say whatever I wanted to say.

I felt like "That Girl"...remember Marlo Thomas...I loved "That Girl" when I was growing up...I always wanted to be "That Girl"...wanted to have my hair in a flip at the shoulders...she was free...she bounced around...she had the Donald...she had a great apartment...she wore mini skirts...and patent leather boots...yes...I felt like "That Girl" for two glorious days in Chicago.

It was amazing...when I arrived I only knew one person...but by the time I left on Sunday morning...I had met so many wonderful women...so many talented women...each unique in their own way...each making a difference...whether they are blogging about:

- post-partum depression (a very serious issue for women...something I luckily never had to deal with...I did struggle a bit after my first child...I stayed up nights just making sure my daughter was breathing okay...and she did have colic...so I was up quite a few nights and days...and days and nights...driving my daughter around the block...putting her car seat on the dishwasher and washing machine in hopes that the vibration would quiet her tummy...it never worked...but I never had post-partum depression...not with my son either...just sleep deprivation.)

- cars (I met Patty from AskPatty.com, which features automotive advice for women...she was a fellow baby boomer...I liked Patty...I'll have to check out her blog if I ever decide to buy that Acura that I like...or maybe a sports car when I turn 50...just like my 60+ year old sister-in-law who just bought a beautiful new dark silver Honda Civic Coupe...then I'll check out Patty's other service where you can blab about your car at www.askpatty.com/carblabber)

- mommyisms (Wish blogging was around when I was a mommy with young kids...not that I would have had much extra time to read all the mommy blogs...but it would have been neat to be able to check in with other mommies who were experiencing what I was experiencing when my kids were tiny tots...sites like Mothertalkers.com...or Mums The Wurd...or Another Working Mom...or STLWorkingMom.)

- divorce (I'm not separated, divorced or facing a divorce...so I don't think I will need themodernwomansdivorceguide.com...in fact, when my husband recovers and is all better...and we celebrate our 25th anniversary in 2009...I'm going to renew my marriage vows...just like guest speaker Elizabeth Edwards told us she and her husband John were going to do...and I'm going to likely be able to fit into my wedding dress...and my hubby will likely fit into his tux...and we'll go dancing at the Rainbow Room...or maybe stay at the Pierre Hotel in NYC...where I always wanted to get married...it was just too expensive 20+ years ago...but now...I don't care...because when my hubby recovers...we're going...no matter what it costs...he is worth it!)

- scrapbooks (There is even a blog called Scrapblog where I can create a world for my pictures...must check this site out...sounds like so much fun.)

Shame I had to leave Chicago...but then I wouldn't be able to come back and share all I learned with my community...Judi is back home...the "I" is back in lower case...but I'm still energized...it is lingering...I think I'll rent some DVDs of "That Girl" this weekend.

Judi

A Bowl of Cherries...and Lemons Too

I've been consuming a lot of cherries lately...and my life does feel like that fruit...or like that fruitful saying..."life is a bowl of cherries"...and that is exactly how my summer is going...there are some rotten cherries, some better cherries, and some hard shiny cherries...I like the shiny cherries...the good ones...and I hope this summer...my 49th summer...starts to get shiny again.

Today it got a little bit shiny...thankfully the staples that were stapled to my head due to my head injury were taken out of my head...everyone was offering me a staple remover this week...but I decided it was best to go to the doctor to remove the staples...and I'm so glad my head is back together again!

My husband was sitting up in a chair today...that was a shiny cherry too...he is still not able to talk due to his tracheotomy (My Soulmate - June 17)...but I've been playing Vanna White each day as I visit him at the hospital...pointing to letters on a page and trying to spell words...I'm not a very good lip reader...may have to learn how to lip read so I can understand everything he is saying...he cannot eat cherries yet...he might miss this season of cherries...but hopefully he will get all better and enjoy some shiny cherries with me during my 50th summer in 2008.

Then there was my pitty momment last night...I had a hot flash...a real live hot flash ...it was so hot it woke me up...it was the pits...the cherry pits...I could not get back to sleep the rest of the night.

Maybe I should try to eat other fruits this summer and the pits will go away...I do love blueberries...blueberries are good for you too...lots of anti-oxidants...and there are no pits to worry about.

My friend sent me a cute gift recently...it was a fruitful gift...and the card said, "When life hands you lemons, screw making lemonade. Smear lemons all over yourself and smell wonderful"...it was a great gift filled with C.O. Bigelow brightening formulas for luminous skin...lemon cream body wash...hand treatment, body scrub and body cream with skin - brightening formula...it's just what I needed...forget the cherries...I'm ready to brighten my days with lemons.

And I'm heading off to the Blogher conference in Chicago tomorrow...to meet fellow female bloggers...to learn new things about blogging...to learn more about the new passion I've discovered during my 49th year...I may pack some of that lemon brightening cream...not taking any cherries with me on this trip...no pits for me for a few days...I'm on holiday.

Judi

Looking Back on My Life - Part II

So I had planned to be back in a day to finish up looking back on my life...but I got hit in the head...yes...I cannot believe my luck...and I thought my life was going to be boring as I headed to my big 50th year...now I'm just hoping I get there in one piece...that's because on Thursday, July 19th, the hood of my car hit my head when I was putting my briefcase in the car...and I had to get staples in my head...at least a cute doctor stapled my head together...


So, now that my head is all stapled up...and the pain from the tetanus shot has subsided...I'm ready to write again...and I'm ready to look back on my life and read more...yes...I want to look back...rather than forward...

My Conversation (continued)

In fourth grade my teach was Mrs. Small and she was very tall. She always used to call me by my sister's name because four years before she had her as a student. Don't tell anybody, but I always thought Mrs. Small was a little weird. She never taught a thing. Her husband came in once a week to teach the class the flute. That year I used to drive my mother out of the house by my wonderful flute piece of "Mary Had A Little Lamb." (Well, well, well...so it's Mrs. Small's fault that I never became a talented musician...I can blame her and her husband for my lack of musical talent...I do remember trying to play guitar too when I was younger...for a few months I was going to be a guitar player...but that didn't last too long either...no musical talent with instruments or vocal.)

I always got involved in schoool affairs and when I wasn't picked for a certain thing I got very disappointed. So, don't you think in fourth grade we put on "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs," and I wasn't picked for a part. I had always considered myself to be a fantastic actress and when I didn't get a part in the play it was a big let down in my life. I had great ambitions to become an actress on Broadway. How could a person become a great star if she couldn't even get a part in a little fourth grade play? As it turned out when the play was finally ready to be put on one of the dwarfs got the chicken pox and I took over. After all, you can't put on "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" with six dwarfs. (Glad that was more than 30 years ago and that there was no chicken pox vaccine then...or I might have totally lost my chance at fame...at least I was a dwarf...I didn't remember that I wanted to be a famous actress...but I couldn't sing...and I couldn't dance...what was I thinking when I was in the fourth grade...why didn't anybody tell me...maybe it is a good thing that no one told me...no wonder I really enjoyed the Broadway play I saw with my daughter this weekend in NYC...we saw Hairspray...and I loved the singing and the dancing...maybe it reminded me of my fourth grade dreams.)

Time passed on and summer came along. How I loved summer. So much free time. When summer rolled around I went to Long Beach. We rented the same house every year. An old man, friend of the family, owned it. He always walked around in baggy shorts that looked like old underwear. It was such a nice house with two antique elephants on the posts in the front. What a shame it was when I found out this would be our last year at the beach. Times were changing, people were changing, and I guess I was changing too. (This brings back such memories...I did love the beach each summer...and I do remember those elephants...vaguely remember them...I don't get to the beach much now...I enjoy the pool more...not a fan of the sand...unless I'm at a resort where they take care of everything...including the towels and the beach chairs...but at 49 I can't sit in the sun too long...no more tanning for me...unless it is in the spray tan salon...which I must do one of these days...I do so want to see what it would be like to have a tan again...like I did back when I didn't have to worry about tanning...who even knew about SPF in the 60s...and I didn't think about the wrinkles either.)

When I was 12 I graduated from elementary school. We had a big graduation. I went to every store on Fordham Road just to get a dress, after all, how could two people have the same dress? It was really a nice ceremony. Our principal spoke and the valedictorian was a girl from my class. I was sad after my 6th grade graduation. I guess it was that I was scared of the big change that was going to take place in the next year. I was promoted to a two year program and would skip 8th grade. Everyone in my class was going to different schools. (Sounds like I was interested in making a fashion statement at a young age...think this is when I likely started my shopaholic lifestyle...glad I had an appropriate dress for my graduation from elementary school...and it sounds like I was having issues with change back then too...but I did always seem to make the change...and even after all these years...change is not easy.)

There was a big adjustment I had to make in 7th grade. I really had to work hard to earn my grades. No more baby stuff. Report cards were marked with numbers not checks. I began to like it though, the competition was good. (So that is when I became so competitive...wish the numbers weren't so important...why did the school system have to go change those checks to numbers...maybe if they had left the checks alone throughout my junior and senior high school days I would not be such a workaholic today...I bet all those kids I see in high school today would also not be so competitive either...I vote for the checks...why do we need numbers anyway?)

The people I met in this new school helped me to adjust also. They were very nice. I really liked 7th grade and at the end of the year I had no worries about 9th grade because I would be with the same people. But, when I came back after the summer I was proven to be wrong. Weeks passed by and the class drifted apart. The people I really liked the year before had changed. I felt left out. I tried to change myself to fit the other people. If it wasn't for one person in the class I don't know what I would have done. Kathy pulled me through. She became my best friend. (So glad Kathy was around...if she ever reads this blog...I want to say "thank you" to Kathy...wherever you are...I'm also glad I never changed myself to fit in...or I might have become a very different person than I am today.)

With 9th grade coming to a close I look ahead to the next years. I have great ambitions for myself. I would like to become a lawyer. I think I would be a good lawyer because I am a very fair person. (I wanted to be a lawyer???...I don't remember ever wanting to be a lawyer...well...that dream didn't come true either...but I am happy with my career in communications...and I don't think I will pursue a legal career in my 50+ years either...nope...that 14 year old dream is not going to come true in my lifetime...however, I still continue to be a fair person.)

As this conversation of my life draws to a close, I must say one thing. This story is by no means the end of my life but only just the beginning. As a famous poet - Joni Mitchell - once said - "Though dreams have lost some grandeur coming true, there'll be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty, before the last revolving year is through." (Good old Joni Mitchell...so that is when I first started listening to her music...and to think...35 years later...Joni Mitchell is still ringing in my ears...play it again, Joni...play it again, Joni...only this time put the iPod on...or put the CD in the CD player...can't play that record anymore.)

Judi

Looking Back On Life - Part I

I was cleaning out some of my papers the other day and stumbled across an autobiography that I had written when I was 14...it was a fascinating read...especially to look back more than 35 years... that's right...35 years ago...I was a pretty good writer at the time...maybe I should have pursued writing as a career...such "insightful, sensitive and beautiful" prose my teacher wrote in the column next to my A+ grade...all written by a 14 year old...good thing I found that diary so I can now remember my early childhood. I recognized the type all crisp and double spaced...it was definitely from my Smith Corona typewriter...no MACs or PCs...just correct-a-type or white-out...I must have been a good typist because I didn't notice any typos on any page.

But now that there are computers, I thought I would take another look at this fascinating autobiography...capture my conversation as part of my 49th year...review what I had said 35 years ago...see if the things I said came true...yes...I wanted to read it all again and see where I came from...how much I had changed...or maybe stayed the same...here goes...verbatim...if you are 50...or close to 50...maybe it will bring back memories for you too:

My Conversation...(written in 1972)

It's raining today. It rained the day I was born too. My father took my mother to the Royal Hospital 14 years ago on January 8th. My sister stayed home with grandmother to await the new arrival. 11 a.m. the baby was born. It's a girl," said the doctor, "7 lbs. 5 ounces." (I was born in a Royal Hospital...wow...I was a good weight...not too big and not too small.)

So, I came into this world, on that glorious day in a Royal Hospital, I was a chubby little girl, everybody thought I would grow up to be fat. I fooled them all and now at 14 I weight less than 100 pounds. (Glad I was a thin teenager...there wasn't the obesity crisis there is with today's kids...we played outside...rode bicycles...were active...ate sensibly.)

When I was one year old I took to that terrible habit of sucking the thumb. My aunt always said that I'd have buck teeth, but what could I do, my mother didn't believe in the pacifier. Well, anyway my teeth never fell out, but I must admit I did have fifteen cavities at age 5 (Ooh!...no wonder I never wanted to be a dentist...and now I can blame my crooked front teeth on that thumb sucking...wish my mom liked the pacifier more.)

As years went on I took to the fact of growing up. I had a normal childhood. I started school at age six. Never went to ballet school. That was the "in thing" as they say. When you were six you went to ballet school when you were seven you became a ballerina. (So there went another career move...if my mother had sent me to ballet school when I was young...I might have been a better dancer at 49).

My best friend was Mary. She lived in the same house as me. Every morning come 10 o'clock Mary and I could be found in front of the television. "Romper Room" was the favorite educational kid program. "Sesame Street" wasn't around in my time, but Miss Betsy did tell stories. (I'm starting to remember Miss Betsy...I really liked Romper Room...and I remember my friend Mary...I don't keep in touch with her anymore...but I do remember she was very smart and became a lawyer).

My love life began to rise in first grade. It was a one-sided love. I had a crush on this boy named Mitchell. I'll never forget the day the teacher walked out of the room and I kissed him. Two days later he moved to California, and that was the end of my first love. I think I cried that whole night. As time went on I forgot about the whole incident. (My love life was more exciting in the first grade than it is right now...what bold moves I took when I was young...you go girl...wonder if Mitchell is still in California...wonder if Mitchell might find my blog at 49).

In second grade I got stuck with the same teacher. She really began to like me. Mrs. Wellman was her name. The only thing I disliked about her was the way she taught the alphabet. We read the usual "Dick and Jane" stories. To this day I can still remember "Old Spotty Boy" that dog who always got in Jane's wagon. (what memories...I can vividly picture that dog Spotty...and Dick and Jane too...I did love to read...I always went to the library to get more books...and to think now I have such little time to read...and I never get to the library anymore because if I take out a library book the three weeks go by so fast and then I don't even have time to read the book...so now I just purchase all my books on Amazon...and I am saving them for my retirement reading...or for when I eventually can take a vacation again).

Yep, those were the days. Even third grade came as a a breeze. I had another teacher, her name was Mrs. Young. I liked her also. We went on a trip to "Kennedy Airport." I'll never forget the time we went in a plane. The first thing the guide showed us was a vomiting bag. That was the first and last time I ever set foot in an airplane. (Okay...so I didn't like airplanes when I was 14...pilot was off the career chart as well...good thing I grew out of my fear of flying...especially now that I'm approaching 50 and may want to take that big trip to some faraway place).

Wow, I'm up to fourth grade already. My life isn't so exciting, you must be falling asleep. Hang on the best is yet to come. (Okay Judi at 14...I am going to hold off until tomorrow to re-read the rest of my autobiography...I am actually falling asleep because it is very late...and at 49 I need to get some rest...I'll be back tomorrow and see what happens next...I'm enjoying looking back on my life...especially since what I am looking forward to right now is on shaky ground with my husband's illness...this little diversion is good...but I have so much strength knowing I made it through the first 14 years of my life with such stamina...I know I am going to continue to be strong...it's in my genes...especially now that I know I was born in a Royal Hospital!)

To be continued...

Judi

Hold Your Breath

Friday was my routine mammogram...I used to get excited about this routine screening...but this time I just went into the room...with that huge machine staring me down...and I was ready...no anxiety...I just can't worry about my breasts right now I thought to myself...there are other more important things to worry about...but it was important that I took the time to go do this screening...keeping up with my yearly mammograms is so important.

Then it was time...the technician slid my right breast and then my left breast under the machine (whatever little there is to slide...she slid...always wanted more to slide...but I was blessed with little breasts...and at 49...I'm not going to do any surgery to get bigger ones...it's too late now...however, I'm going to continue to do my mammogram each year to ensure my little ones stay healthy).

"Just two more pictures," said the technician, "hold your breath just two more seconds," she added....okay...okay...how can I do anything else...of course I have to hold my breath...you have my boobs flat as a pancake in this machine...who can breath...and you almost have my shoulders too......why is it every year I feel like I have to lean in a little bit more...and this year it seemed like I was literally hugging the machine...(I know I'm lacking bear hugs from my hubby, but hugging this machine was just not going to cut it)...after the silence and the click came the five golden words..."okay, you can breath again!"

I was talking to the technician (who was very nice by the way...considering the discomforting situation I've been lucky through the years to always have nice technicians)...we chatted about the new digital mammography that is now on the market courtesy of GE Medical Systems (thank you GE for thinking about women's health)...while this new technology will enable doctors to provide better screening...the process will still be the same...yes...the pancake routine will continue for the near future...but maybe GE will soon develop a machine so we can make muffins instead.

As I waited for the technician to check my xrays, I read the GE Medical Systems brochure that had some tips to reduce a woman's risk of breast cancer, including:

- Have your children before age 30 (okay...I had one of my children before age 30...but my son was born when I was 32...and there is no concern of anymore children when I'm 49...I'm not going to have anymore kids...not going to be one of those 52 year old pregnant women...like some I've been reading about lately...no comment on those women right now...everyone is into her own thing...for me...I love my kids but I'm preparing my empty nest.

- Breast feed your children. (Didn't do too well here...I was not a "good cow" as my doctor told me years ago...I tried to breast feed my children...they both received about an ounce or too...I was so determined to breast feed my daughter 21 years ago that I rented an electric pump...I tried hard to pull a few ounces out of each breast each day...if you think being a pancake is tough...having your boobs squeezed by an electric breast pump 21 years ago was 10 times more painful...so my kids both went on formula after a week...but maybe since I did try...this counts on the positive side...and for my son...I used a manual breast pump and got a few ounces out too...so he had his few ounces of breast milk the first week of his life as well).

- Limit your alcohol intake to one drink per day. (I do this...I'm not drinking too much...a little more now that my husband is ill...I do like my glass of white wine at dinner...Pinot Grigio is my favorite...I did purchase a wine stoppper...one that actually works...so now after each glass I can close up the bottle...and since reading this tip...I'll try extra hard to keep my intake to one drink...anything I can do to keep my little breasts healthy is all for a good cause.)

- Maintain a healthy weight. (I'm trying to maintain my healthy weight...not much of an appetite lately with my hubby being ill in the hospital...but I am trying to keep my weight up...and eat healthy food...I made hard boiled eggs the other day...couldn't remember how long to boil them...I looked the recipe up in The Joy Of Cooking...the Joy said to cook them for 10-15 minutes after the water boils...very specific directions to follow...and I followed each one down to the very last step when I poured cold water over my very warm eggs...I was so proud of my perfectly hard boiled eggs.)

- Exercise regularly. (I'm trying to exercise too...a little lax at times with everything going on in my life...but I'm trying to get to the gym about twice a week...and with the NuStep recumbent cross-trainer...I'm doing double time...wonder if I can count this as really four times a week at the gym since the NuStep is a cross-trainer?)

Now that my mammogram is over for my 49th year...next up is my nuclear stress test in early August...never had one of those...but don't think I will need to hold my breath for that test...they will want me to rev up my breathing...to see how fast I can go on the treadmill...better start practicing at the gym...I'm going to pick up the pace and get ready to go the distance.

Judi

To learn more about breast cancer prevention, check out the Komen Foundation at www.komen.org

Patience is A Virtue

I'm not a patient person...and as I approach 50 I'm becoming less and less patient...actually I think I'm impatient...especially with my husband's illness (My Soulmate - June 17)......he is getting better...I can tell by his vital signs that he is getting better...and I just have to be more patient..."take one day at a time," I keep telling myself.

I miss not being able to talk to him...he has a tracheotomy so he cannot talk...but at least he has been awake the past two days...as the nurse said, "we're giving him a sedation vacation...he just gets the morphine for pain...no more sedation"...and he is more aware of who I am and what I am talking about...however, it is hard to keep the conversation going for long periods of time when the other person just nods and cannot talk back...it's either "yes" with a head nod up and down or "no" with a horizontal head nod.

I was thinking today of how many words my husband will have stored up that he can say when he starts talking again. I just read in a recent article in the New York Times that according to conventional wisdom...women use 20,000 words a day and men use 7,000 words...I'm sure I use that many or more...and now with my added impatience...I am using up my husband's 7,000 too.

My husband had asked our landscaper to plant flowers in the front of our house this summer...that was back in April...but the landscaper forgot...and now that my husband cannot talk...he cannot tell the landscaper to plant the flowers (I can tell him to do this...but I'm impatient and don't think I can wait any longer...the summer will be over before I get my flowers in my front yard)...maybe I'll just plant some flowers myself (I'm not very good at planting flowers...or taking care of flowers...unless they are cut flowers that I can put in a vase)...maybe planting flowers will be good therapy for me now...maybe I should plant impatiens flowers...yes...I think impatiens are just right for an impatient person like me.

According to the About.com website, Impatiens flowers take their name from the Latin, impatiens, "impatient." They are so called because their ripe seed pods will sometimes burst open from even a light touch (as if they were "impatient" to open)....these are my kind of flowers...and they don't require sunlight either...and maybe if I water them (if I remember...and talk to them too...with some of my 20,000 words each day...they will actually grow)...and my yard will be filled with vibrant flowers to welcome my husband when he returns home.

Hopefully, he will come home soon...I'm going to get those flowers this weekend...impatiens...I've already put them on my "to do" list...if not my front yard...maybe I'll try a little window box of flowers first...patience is a virtue I need to cultivate little by little.

Judi

49 and a Half

This is a big weekend...there has been a lot of celebrating yesterday...it was 7-7-07 (Eva Longoria...my favorite Desperate Housewife got married...will have to get the new People magazine when it comes out so I can read all about her wedding)...but today is my special day...today I turned 49.5 or really if I'm counting the 12 months in the calendar year..today...7-8-07...I'm 49.6...with six more months to go until I turn 50...regardless of how many more months to go...the big 5-0 will soon be here...as quick as I can count...1-2-3-4-5-6!

Then I'll have to put the next check in the box when I fill out all those customer service surveys...no longer 45-49...after six months I'll be 50 -55...and I'll officially be an AARP member...no longer will have to read my husband's AARP Magazine...I'll have my very own magazine subscription (along with all my other magazine subscriptions)....

I took special note of this month's AARP issue...it was all about the "50 Things You Need To Know by 50"...guess I better study up during the next six months...out of the "50 Things" there were a few I thought were more pertinent than others...like...

- #2 How to forgive (I agree with George Takei from Heroes...his parents advice is good..."his parents taught him that being bitter only pickles the one that stews in the brine...the bullies are the ones stewing in their own spite and ignorance. Once you realize that those who hurt you also hurt themselves, it is easier to forgive them."...therefore, during the next six months I am going to finally forgive the little girl named Jackie who tried to beat me up in second grade because I won the spelling bee...she was ignorant...and jealous...and I still to this day have not forgiven her...and how she negatively impacted my elementary years...and my entire life...but it is time...I am going to forgive Jackie for her terrible behavior...it will be liberating...just like George and his parents said.

- #6 How to lose weight (Eat. Less) (This "Tip #6" has been easy for me the past month...I've actually lost quite a few pounds...with my stress at peak levels due to my husband's illness I just haven't had an appetite (My Soulmate - June 17)...I've been forcing myself to eat...but I have been eating less...but when he gets better...all better...and starts to eat again...I'll start to eat more again too...then I'll have to follow...

- #7 on How to look like you've lost weight (According to this tip I should style my hair a 1/4 inch higher than normal to make my face seem thinner...I do put a lot of Catwalk TIGI Root Boost in my hair so I have #7 covered...and it also says to wear rectangular-framed glasses...funny, but I just bought a new pair of eyeglasses and they are more rectangular...maybe I had intuition about this part of my soon to be fifty-something face...so I won't need any new glasses when I turn 50...good thing because I spend mucho dollars on these new titanium eyeglasses and they are supposed to last forever.)

- #22 Don't try to talk like a teen. ("It says that by the time you understand the lingo it won't be cool anymore"...I did ask my kids to teach me how to send a text message on my cell phone...especially now that I purchased the family plan with unlimited texting for all...I don't know all the shortcuts for texting...I tried to text the word "Hi" to my daughter today with my new text messaging but it kept typing "His"...my son says he will teach me the lingo...better learn this #22 during the next six months...I want to stay cool.)

- #45 Tell a Joke. (I'm not good at telling jokes...I've been listening to Whoopi Goldberg's show in the morning and always like to hear her colleague Cobby tell his jokes...I try to remember each joke but can't write it down while I'm driving...but I'm going to try harder during the next six months...let's see...what was that joke I liked the other week...oh, yes..."What do you call a seagull who lives by the bay????...a bay-gull"...I've got this one down...but I know I can do better...maybe if I laugh more it will ease my pain...and maybe I'll learn more jokes so I can share them with my husband when he gets all better...it will be fun when he can smile more and laugh again too.)

So much to do in the next six months leading up to my 50th...I also want to learn how to load songs and podcasts onto my IPod (I did see that new IPhone in the AT&T store the other day...quite a nifty piece of technology...and it appeared like it was quite easy to use...lots of pictures and a touch tone screen...maybe I'll buy one for myself for my 50th birthday...or add that to my list of birthday options...will have to see if it fits in the pocket of an Armani suit...

I can take my time...I've got six more months...that's half a year...so much can happen until 1-8-08.

Judi

Chin Ups

Lately I feel like I'm doing chin ups...yes...I'm trying to keep my chin up at all times...with my chin up I know that things will get better...and my husband will mend...it's also harder to shed tears when your chin is up...and it may prevent excess lines from forming on my neck too...which is a good thing.

I'm also trying to get back to some type of exercise routine now that my gym has finally reopened...it is truly a fabulous gym...especially for a female baby boomer body that is approaching 50...they have all new equipment...too much for me to handle...too much for me to learn...too much for me to take in all at once.

The other day I did find a new piece of equipment that quickly has become my favorite piece of equipment...it is just right for my 49 year old(almost 49-1/2 in a few days...July 8th to be exact) body...it is called a Nu-step recumbent cross-trainer...I love it...I absolutely...I positively...love this machine...I may have to think about trading in my recumbent bicycle in my bedroom for a new recumbent cross-trainer...why not cross train and work two parts of the body at the same time rather than just one.

Today after I finished my circuit training (keeping my chin up at all the times)...I went straight to the recumbent cross-trainer and spent 30 minutes on this absolutely...this positively...wonderful new machine...arms going back and forth...legs going back and forth...just like the Precor elliptical machine (which is my least favorite machine in the gym...always was...and always will be...don't know how people synchronize their bodies to work the elliptical machine...my 49 year old body can do about 5 minutes on a Precor elliptical machine and then I feel like I'm going to fall down)...only I was sitting all comfy on a padded seat...listening to my favorite music on my Ipod...the trainer at the gym said this is a very popular machine for rehab patients.

My hubby who is now in the hospital would really like this machine...when he gets stronger...and is ready for rehab....I'm going to buy him one of these machines for our bedroom...(maybe we can extend our bedroom and add a gym with a recumbent cross-trainer and a Lazyboy to sit in afterwards...after we're all done cross-training).

Guess for now I'll just use it at the gym...and maybe try out all the other new equipment...I may have to get myself a personal trainer...I do need a personal trainer to teach me how to keep my body in shape for my 50+ years...and how to use all the new equipment at the gym.

I need all the extra strength I can get to weather through this stormy time in my life...can't let my chin fall...nope...chin ups are permanently in my exercise repetoire for now.

Judi

Looking Great While I Exercise: Isn't it wonderful that a new women's activewear store opened near my house...just in time for me to get all new exercise clothing to wear when I work out on my new favorite recumbent cross-trainer machine ...and they sent two $20 coupons to me to try out their store...the store is called LUCY...you can find this activewear at lucy.com too (and they are having a great sale right now) ...I just love the name LUCY and I love their exercise clothes...mostly cotton and comfy fabrics...and they have great capri exercise pants...just the kind I like...not too short for my legs and not too long...a little expensive...but worth it...need to look good on my recumbent cross-trainer...don't want to wear old exercise clothes on a new machine.

A Fabulous Food Weekend

Coping...I'm coping through the ups and downs of my life right now (My Soulmate - June 17)...with the help of good friends...a close family...and some fabulous food...food that makes me feel good...

Friday night food included:
- corned beef on rye with Gulden's mustard
- real deli coleslaw and a sour pickle
- coupled with a bottle of sparkling wine (a few glasses make things go down so much smoother...make life a little lighter...and helps me sleep too)
- seven layer cake with chocolate frosting and raspberry filling between the layers (just like my dad used to say..."I'll have an eight course meal...give me a good piece of seven layer cake and a glass of milk"...I had the cake...and a glass of wine...it was so good.)
...three layer cake with vanilla frosting and colored sprinkles (as my friend encouraged me...why only have one piece of cake when you can have two...especially if the other one has colored sprinkles on top of the vanilla frosting.)

To top off the night my friend and I watched "The Holiday" with Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet...where they switch houses...one goes to England and the other to Los Angeles...a great chick flick...just what I needed to top off my two pieces of cake.

On Saturday, off to Wegman's upscale grocery store I went...I needed some hardcore coping...my hubby was not doing too well and either was I...after leaving my hairdresser (and sneaking a peek in one of the consignment shops next to the salon to cheer myself up... I bought a Dana Buchman gold silk sweater...fit like a glove...was one of my prime colors...even if it was originally owned by someone else...at 49...who cares who else wore it...it was mine now...and it cheered me up)...then I was off to the upscale grocery store to purchase some more food fabulous food...

- Angus beef..."I'll have a pound of that wonderful meat," I said to the butcher;
- Summer Pasta Salad..."That sounds lovely and light, I'll have a half pound of that summer salad with wagon wheel pasta, fresh peas, broccoli and corn," I said to the deli counter lady (although it was not such a light salad...in fact...it was loaded with ranch dressing and very few summer veggies...but it had a lovely description and sounded so summery);
- a whole seedless watermelon...it was so cute (it turned out to be totally overripe and I had to throw it away after my son sliced it open...but it was a very cute watermelon...next time I'll listen to my son and buy a slice of watermelon so I can see how ripe it really is);
- whole grain tortilla chips...haven't tried them yet...but they do look good on the packaging;
- ciabiatta rolls...these fresh, flat crispy rolls are sooooo delicious...and I made myself a scrumptious chicken sandwich for dinner when I got home...even if I wasn't that hungry...I poured myself the last glass of wine from my Friday night wine bottle and I ate the sandwich...it looked and tasted really good.

To top off my Saturday evening...my son and I went to see the new Pixar movie "Ratatouille"...speaking of food fabulous food...it was fun fabulous fun...with rats named Remy and Emile...and a guy named Linguini...and scenes of Paris at night...it was simply the best escape...without consuming an ounce. I can't wait until it comes out on DVD...hopefully for my 50th birthday...maybe my husband will be all better by then and we will watch it together on our big screen television...my husband is a great cook and I know he will love this movie...when he is better...and he can eat real food again...not that tasteless tube food they are feeding him now (but it is nourishing him so I won't complain).

Meantime...I want him to know that I am consuming all the fabulous foods that he likes...and when he is all better...he will too...we'll have a fabulous food weekend...just like I did this weekend...only it will be that much better because he will be enjoying it with me.

Judi